T’was The Night Before Christmas – A Spoof

By Tina Agrell

Not a crumb in the house.
Mom’s been sick since forever.
Dad lost his job
And left us, the louse.

My kid sister wants an art set
And the DVD of Frozen
I’ve been drooling over a smart phone.
Fat chance of that!
With just us here in this country
And our family so far away
It seems like another planet.

I was thinking of quitting school and joining the Bloods
Selling crack on the streets of TO.
It would be scary exciting
And besides, why be poor
If you’re young and smart?
If the police catch you
Go down in a blaze of glory, they tell you.
I‘m brave; I would never back down.

Buzz on the apartment door.
Late and weird.
There’s a guy out there with his arms full of stuff
And a beard.

I open the door a pinch.
“We thought you could use some things”
He says, handing me the pile
“Here’s my card. Give me call
If you need a part time job.
Merry Christmas!”
And he’s gone, just like that.

I kind of fall back on the couch.
There’s great food and some sweets in the stash.
A warm robe for Mom, an art set and “Frozen”
A cool jacket for me
And a book on careers in the police.
I laugh when I see that in spite of myself.
I’d be brave. I would never back down.
Breathing quiet, I just say
As I turn out the light
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

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